Should she go to the wedding if she doesn't approve of the marriage?

December 3, 2020
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Dear Delilah,

I was recently invited to a friend’s wedding, she’s pregnant and I don’t want to go. I don’t like the guy she is marrying and I feel like I need to tell her. What do you think?

Friend First

Dear Friend First,

I think unless it’s some dire information you have on this guy, you need to mind ya business and be supportive. Focus on her and not him. Does she love him? Is she happy about the baby? Then leave it be. If not, let her know you will always be there for her and that she has choices. Otherwise, find a different perspective and a dress and go to that wedding!

Weddings and births bring out the best in human nature. Looking at a bride or a new baby is like looking at the beginning of a new adventure. And although there is nothing on earth new in the way of relationships or how to love a child, it’s extra brand new for that couple or that child.

We forget what a miracle finding a person to share life with is or just giving birth can be, yet there is no denying both are gifts far more valuable than anything money could buy. Next time you get invited to a wedding or shower show up and rejoice in the new adventure or the gift of a miracle.

Yes, it’s hard not to roll your eyes or smile knowingly as the newlyweds or new parents gush on and on, yet keep in mind this is a new experience for them. I know, you’ve been around the world once and to the county fair twice, but this is their first trip around the block and they don’t need directions. Refrain from giving advice or trying to impose your sentiments, expectations or experiences, it’s better to let them find their way, learn from trial and error, and develop the trust and bond in their own relationship and with their own kids.

It’s hard as adults or parents to not see the potential for problems or an easier or better way to handle a situation or a baby, yet, listen and then walk away. It might surprise you when you realize there is more than one way to skin a rabbit.

Embrace the wonder of each new chapter for a new couple or parents with an open heart and save the criticism for the weather. Leave your opinions and umbrella in the car and don’t bring either out unless you’re asked to go for a walk.

Delilah McMasters is a local resident and the mother of six. Reach her at

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