Mom in a mess reaches out for friendly advice

October 26, 2020
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Dear Delilah,

I’m a stay at home mom and the last few months have been a nightmare! My husband and I decided to home school our kids, 11 and 7, until things settle down. But it’s awful! The 2 year old is needy, the 7 year old doesn’t turn any of his work in, even though I’m sitting right there with him—I’m constantly emailing or getting emails from his teacher. And the 11 year old is fidgeting through most of his classes, while I try to help him! And the husband who was going to be so much help? He locks himself up in the office on the days he is here and then goes into the office two days a week.

The weekends have become a mess of trying to get groceries, homework and laundry done! I’m exhausted and I hate all of this! When I mention sending the boys back to school, my husband and in laws give me judgy reasons why it’s a bad idea and how I need to “suck it up for my family”.


Mom of a Mess

Dear Mom of a Mess,

Ma’am, let’s just take a moment and all agree the last few months HAVE BEEN A NIGHTMARE! There has been so many things we have all had to adjust to and learn how to handle! And we are all doing the best we can, including you!

I think we all had the best intentions when we made the decisions to send our kids back to the classroom or do virtual learning or go out on our own to home school, but our best intentions and expectations haven’t lined up with the reality we are all experiencing. Each scenario has its own set of struggles, none of them are right or wrong, we are all just trying to get through it and want what is best for our kids and our families.

You don’t need my help, you have already made up your mind, you just need the support to follow your heart! Your in laws and husband need to suck it up and trust your decision. It sounds like you are with your kids the majority of the time, you are the one dealing with schooling, feeding, laundry and discipline during the day, so admitting you need help is brave of you! Your boys need the structure of a school environment and the instructions from a teacher who has been trained for this occupation, and then they need to come home to their mom, who can support and enjoy them in the afternoons and weekend!

I’m proud of you for understanding this, now do what is right for you and your boys and find out when the next enrollment date is for school and go for it! Get some cool masks off Amazon, plenty of hand sanitizer, and think of the right way to explain to them what will be different being back in class and what you expect out of them to stay safe and healthy! And after you get them boys back in school, girl, send your husband to his parents, and get the 2 year old down for a nap and enjoy some peace and quiet or a nap yourself!

Okay, seriously, don’t send your husband off, unless you want to, but do sit him down and talk to him about what you feel needs to happen. The schools do have protocols in place, and the structure at their age is important. Explain to him you need him to support your decision and how much it hurts when it feels like he and his parents team up against you. Good luck!

Delilah McMasters is a local resident and the mom of six. Reach her at

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