HOA turns out to be source of endless entertainment

December 8, 2021
Share this article

By Delilah McMasters

Mansfield Record

Well, we ended thankful November and I’m thankful it’s over. I took November off because I got lured in by my HOA Facebook page. Ya see, I’ve never lived in an HOA neighborhood. I’ve always lived in MYB neighborhoods - Mind Ya Business - and in the last year and a half, it’s been a complete delight reading the page and then stalking all the main players.

We moved in stealth-like during the first months of COVID, joined the Facebook page and kept a low profile. I had read all the HOA paperwork, enjoyed the occasional articles in the news pertaining to how some HOAs didn’t let you express yourself by painting your house or having yard art or penalized homeowners for not keeping their dogs quiet or their yards maintained. So, I was ready to stay within the guidelines and keep it real, but I wasn’t prepared for how real it really has been!

Seeing suspicious vehicles or persons of interest in the neighborhood is an ongoing crisis. Bad guys are constantly trolling our lovely neighborhood, scoping out our nice homes and cars, waiting for the prime opportunity to break into our vehicles, or drop off food, groceries or kids for a sleep over.

But none of that is a bother. We all need to be aware of our surroundings. How else would we be able to know when our dogs and cats are out roaming the streets?

And Lordy, those disrespectful gangs jumping the fences or sneaking in playing in our HOA pools! I have yet to get to swim in the pools, but I’m ready to dial 911 if any of them dare to make waves while I’m floating in my duck blow-up and crash my me time with some foul language! You better believe I’ve been working on my own cursing. I can’t have a HOA non-member out-cussing me. I pay my dues for this privilege.

I do have to admit the Ring door bell pictures and videos have been a little disturbing. Watching a vehicle haul ass down the street, flattening a peacock, feathers scattering, and then all the other peacocks standing around the deceased road kill, well guys, well guys, I don’t know what to say that hasn’t already been said before … except, I would really like one of those cute little feathers on the top of their heads, if it’s not too mangled.

But the story that has had me anxiously checking the page has to do with a board member who walks the neighborhood with her dogs in the mornings wearing an orange vest taking pictures of every house that is violating the rules. She’s snapping pictures with her phone - got the form letters and a year’s worth of stamps at the ready - and she’s making enemies? Friends? Frienemies? She’s causing a ruckus! People upset!

Mind you, I was at work, so I missed all the excitement, but oh my goodness! Apparently orange vest lady let her unleashed dog poop on a lady’s lawn, and this lady asked her to get that poop out of her yard. But the orange vest lady did not and went about her morning stroll to take pictures. So this lady has to get a bag and clean it up herself, get in her car, drive through the streets looking for her, screech to a stop, jump out of the car, and fling the bagged dog poop at her. To which orange vest lady has to bend down and get some dog poop and throw back at the other lady. What in the dirty dog hissy fit is going on here? That’s a lot of crappy energy to be throwing around that early in the morning!

Is this legal? Can you imagine the lady’s husband back at her house, trying to get her to take a deep breath, trying to convince her that this might not be a good idea? Guess those memes are right - never tell a frustrated, angry woman to calm down. The lady immediately admitted to what happened, explained it, and there were many comments and a board meeting. The word illegal was used a few times in a post, but not pertaining to dog poop throwing, but then it got quiet.

I have faith, though, entertainment is on the horizon and I’m sure someone is going to have Christmas lights up at the end of January. Maybe orange vest lady will get an orange puffer jacket for Christmas or a new phone with a better camera from Santa. Because, let’s keep it real, someone needs to hold us accountable, otherwise, this neighborhood would have houses of every color, animals pooping in overgrown yards with basketball hoops in the driveways. We would never be able to make out the Amazon delivery man across the street with our Ring doorbells.

Delilah McMasters is a local resident and the mother of six. Reach her at BlessYourHeart76063@gmail.com.

Get the word out!

Mansfield, Texas, is a booming city, nestled between Fort Worth and Dallas, but with a personality all its own. The city’s 76,247 citizens enjoy an award-winning school district, vibrant economy, historic downtown, prize-winning park system and community focus spread across 37 square miles. The Mansfield Record is dedicated to reporting city and school news, community happenings, police and fire news, business, food and restaurants, parks and recreation, library, historical archives and special events. The city’s only online newspaper launched in September 2020 and will offer introductory advertising rates for the first three months at three different rates.

Advertise with us!